The Resilient One
by distraught.hallelujah
Summary: Hikari Hoshino and Rukia Kuchiki are on a mission - sneak into Uryu Ishida's house and get pictures for Hikari's Uryu Archives. Will they succeed, or be found out? Fan-fiction requested by Hikari'sLight.


The Resilient One

Bleach fan-fiction requested by Hikari'sLight.

~ Chapter One ~

This is Hikari Hoshino.

She is an average high school teenager. She is an only child and currently lives with her mother and stepfather. She had average brown hair, average brown eyes, and a very un-average life. That basically sums her up in three sentences.

This is Rukia Kuchiki.

Rukia Kuchiki is one of Hikari's best friends. Rukia Kuchiki is also an elite Soul Reaper sent by the Soul Society to rid the world of evil ghosts known as Hollows, but don't tell anyone – it's a secret.

This is the source of Hikari's obsession.

His name is Uryu Ishida, and he is _the_ top student at Karakura Town High School. His father is a millionaire who owns a hospital in town. He wears glasses and the closest he's ever gotten to being shirtless is having his top two buttons undone. Hikari knows this, because she was there to take a picture of it.

This is Hikari's grasp of stealth mode... she doesn't have one.

"Ah!" Hikari exclaimed, momentarily stopping and rubbing her head as she cursed the low wooden beam.

"That's what you get for sneaking around under somebody's porch," Rukia sad chidingly from beside her, grinning. Hikari frowned.

"Well, you offered to come with. I didn't _make_ you or anything. You're my friend, and therefore it's your duty to help me out. Besides, you're also my lookout, which is an important job. Do you see him yet?"

"You _bribed_ me with a week's supply of all-you-can-eat chocolate bunnies," Rukia said indignantly. "How can anyone say no to that, best friend or not? He's going to see you and you'll get thrown out. They have the best security systems of anyone on this block, and probably the best security system money can buy. That's saying a lot, by the way."

"I'll get through it, sure as I'm wearing black," Hikari said determinedly, putting a pair of binoculars to her eyes. "I'm just glad you're here. Besides, he knows you, so if we're caught, you can stick up for me."

"Yeah, keep dreaming. You remember that when you're behind bars for trespassing," Rukia said, shaking her head. "The things I do for chocolate in the shape of a bunny."

"Has the package arrived?" Hikari asked, ignoring the 'behind bars' comment.

"Yep," Rukia said, holding her own pair of binoculars to her eyes. "He just reached the front door… he's getting the key to let himself in…"

"And a very nice package it is," Hikari murmured, drinking in the sight as she pressed the binoculars even more firmly to her eyes. Rukia shot her a Look.

"You know, I'm trying to pay attention here. I assume you brought the camera?"

"Of course I did. Now let's see… at four o' clock, he comes home from school," Hikari said thoughtfully.

"Check," Rukia said.

"He lets himself into the house."

"Check."

"Takes off his school bag…"

"How should I know?" Rukia demanded. "I don't have X-ray vision." Hikari took the binoculars from her eyes to pat Rukia on the shoulder, a mischievous glint in her otherwise ordinary brown eyes.

"Time to blow this popsicle stand," she said excitedly, and began to scoot out from underneath the porch.

"Eek!" Rukia exclaimed suddenly. Hikari started and hit her head on another beam, then looked back at Rukia angrily.

"What did you say that for, darn it? My head's gonna swell to three times its normal size before I ever get some newer pictures for my Uryu Archives!"

Rukia said nothing. She raised a hand and pointed. Hikari followed her gaze and paled as she saw the huge spider web they had not noticed before, and the rather smug-looking huge black spider that sat in the middle of it.

Inside the house, as Uryu Ishida put his school bag down on a chair, he could've sworn he heard a female scream. He looked outside and thought he saw a small black figure dart to another house from across the street, but after watching for a few minutes and seeing nothing further, he dismissed it as his imagination or a cat or something.

Meanwhile, outside…

Hikari panted from her spot in the bushes. Beside her, Rukia was trying desperately not to laugh aloud, and her hands were pressed to her mouth so hard that her fingertips were white.

"You find my pain amusing?" Hikari panted breathlessly. She paused, watching Rukia suspiciously. "Don't answer that."

She looked up at the window above them and pointed. "Uryu's room is on the third floor, up there on the corner. I think he may have seen us."

"Well, it was nice knowing you," Rukia said hastily, getting up to leave. Hikari grabbed the back of Rukia's black shihakusho and pulled her back down hard.

"Do you have the disguise ready?" She asked. Rukia sighed.

"I think they know their house isn't for sale," she said slowly. Hikari held out her hand, her jaw set stubbornly. With a sigh, Rukia fumbled around in the bushes for the prearranged disguise – a large 'For Sale' sign. She handed Hikari the sign and Hikari held it up to about face height.

"Wish me luck," she whispered, and then left the bushes. Rukia watched as Hikari darted across the lawn, then stopped and jammed the sign into the ground to hide behind it. There was a moment of silence before the sign was lifted again and scurried across the street and into the millionaire's yard. Rukia frowned.

This was stupid. She had asked herself four times already why she was doing this, and she still couldn't come up with a decent answer. If Hikari wanted pictures, Rukia could just asked Uryu to take his picture. However, Hikari had insisted that this remain between them, and that they keep it a secret. Hikari already had quite a selection of pictures and information on Uryu that she had compiled over her last two years at the high school.

Rukia had been invited into Hikari's room once, and had nearly been brought to her knees at the sheer number of full color portraits of Uryu Ishida that hung around the room. There were pictures taken upside-down, there were pictures taken while Uryu was eating at the school cafeteria, at the bus stop, just walking around, at his desk, and plenty of others. It had come to the point where Rukia wasn't sure how Hikari managed to smuggle her camera everywhere.

There were hundreds of other pictures, all of the same person, but Rukia didn't have time or enough empty brain space to remember every single one. The 'For Sale' sign had gotten up again and was promptly setting across the immaculate lawn of the millionaire.

Rukia closed her eyes. She didn't want to see this.

When there was no alarm as the 'For Sale' sign got all the way to the bushes underneath the house, Rukia's eyes opened again, and there was a sudden, unexpected glimmer of hope. Was it possible? Could Hikari manage to sneak up on the last Quincy?

~ Meanwhile ~

Uryu was moderately sure his father wasn't selling the house. He was also moderately sure that most if not all 'For Sale' signs did not have feet. Then again, he could be wrong, but he didn't think so.

These were the first things to raise his suspicion. He had a feeling who it was ('that girl who's been stalking me at school and asked for my autograph'). The first thing he did was turn off the security systems. Then he slid on a pair of garden gloves and wordlessly disappeared down the hall.

He was in a bad mood. This was a really, really bad time to sneak under his window. This became painfully apparent as the 'For Sale' sign scurried underneath his window and Uryu appeared again, this time holding a can of something. The window opened.

And the next thing she knew, Hikari was covered in whitewash.

~ Meanwhile ~

Rukia saw the window open and began to call out, but it was too late. The 'For Sale' sign was doused in something white and thick, and it immediately leaped up and raced across the lawn towards Rukia. As the sign tried to jump back into the bushes, Rukia jumped out so as not to get any of it on herself.

After all, she had just done the laundry.

The 'For Sale' sign was thrown to the ground and Hikari stood there, her messy whitewash-covered hair plastered to her face. The white paint-like substance covered her shoulders and dribbled down her back, and Hikari was frowning.

"That went well," Rukia said matter-of-factly.

"That was an accident," Hikari said frostily, trying to convince herself. "He was trying to get… the sidewalk."

"He missed," Rukia commented cheerfully.

"Well, we'll try it again," Hikari said, fuming. "Just wait, I'll get those pictures yet. It'll be amazing. They'll be the best pictures ever, just you wait. Wait for it."

"That's three 'waits,'" Rukia said. "I get it already. I'm waiting."

"Right." Hikari turned back towards the house and stared at it for a moment, and then her shoulders slumped.

"Here," Rukia said, tossing Hikari a white towel. Hikari caught it, looking surprised.

"Where did you get this?" She asked incredulously.

"Clothesline in the back," Rukia replied, jerking a thumb vaguely behind her. "Better get that stuff off before it dries, otherwise it'll be nearly impossible."

Hikari hesitated. After all, she wasn't a thief or anything by nature. However, Rukia watched her coolly until Hikari meekly began rubbing the whitewash out of her hair. Rukia nodded satisfactorily.

"Ready for the second run? Plan B?" Rukia asked. Hikari nodded.

"This time you're coming with me. Phase two; Mansion Infiltration. We'll rappel off the roof and then use a glass cutter to make a perfect circle in the glass, then go inside and use high-intensity lasers to—" Hikari began excitedly. Rukia held up a hand and Hikari faltered.

"One problem," Rukia said. "Our current equipment consists of – and this is absolutely everything we have – one designer glove, a whitewash-covered 'For Sale' sign, a rhododendron branch, and a half-eaten sticky bun."

"I see." Hikari froze thoughtfully, staring into space with a blank look in her eyes. Then her eyes brightened up with an idea. "Okay. New plan. We're rappel off the roof using a designer glove attached to the end of a rhododendron branch. Then, after using the sticky bun to slather the edges of the window until it pops out of its frame, we'll hide behind the 'For Sale' sign in front of any security cameras we pass by."

"Foolproof," Rukia said sarcastically, giving Hikari a thumbs-up. "Look, this is not a bank robbery. First of all, there are no security cameras. Second, there is no way the branch would hold and double no way that we could take a window out using a sticky bun.

"You obviously haven't watched 'MacGyver'," Hikari said frostily. "Anything is possible with a sticky bun, a designer glove, a branch, and a sign! Stay here and watch me. I shall prevail!"

With that as a war cry, Hikari headed out of the bushes and back towards the large house. Rukia tapped her fingers against the hilt of her zanpakuto nervously and watched as her friend entered the yard, still mostly covered in whitewash.

A flash of pale skin and black hair appeared in the window of Uryu's room, and Rukia displayed a neat face-palm. He had seen them. He was in battle mode.

And Rukia Kuchiki's own friend was on the front lines.

~ Meanwhile ~

Hikari was moderately surprised that no alarms had gone off yet. She headed around towards the back of the house, and then tiptoed onto the small back porch. After pausing for a moment to marvel at how huge the house was, she tried to doorknob. It turned and a sudden shot of adrenaline pumped through Hikari's bloodstream as the door smoothly creaked open.

There was a moment in which nothing happened. Following that moment, everything happened at once. There was a flash, and then a bucket hanging from the ceiling tipped. Instead of hopping out of the way, Hikari's traitorous eyes followed the string attached from the handle of the bucket all the way down to the doorknob.

And then she was drenched with maple syrup.

In case you have never done this before, being covered in whitewash and then drenched in maple syrup is not a pleasant feeling. Hikari only realized this just now as she stood there, feeling very sticky, in the dark doorway. She turned and marched determinedly down the steps and turned the corner, heading back towards the street to the abandoned house where Rukia was waiting in the yard.

As Hikari approached, Rukia had an odd look on her face. Rukia's left eyebrow was raised, her mouth was twitching, her cheeks were sucked in, and an odd growling sound rose form her throat.

"You're laughing at me, aren't you?" Hikari said in a level tone.

"Yeah," Rukia admitted, unable to contain it any longer. "That's what you get for trying to sneak into someone's house!" She chortled, doubling over in laughter.

"You inspire me with confidence," Hikari said sarcastically.

"Come on," Rukia said, grabbing Hikari's wrist. "I'll help you this time. I have a plan. I was watching while you unsuccessfully tried to infiltrate a millionaire's house, and I was thinking instead of that, climb the tree in the backyard and take a picture from there."

"That's an interesting idea," Hikari admitted slowly. Rukia grinned.

"Come on."

Rukia dragged the whitewash-covered maple syrup-drenched stealth class-failing teenager across the street, the short walk feeling very much like death row, and into the yard.

Rukia paused and licked her finger, then held it in the air thoughtfully.  
"How is knowing the wind direction useful to us right now?" Hikari asked crossly.

"I'm not," Rukia answered. "I got syrup on my finger. I think that's actually real maple syrup… expensive, but really good stuff."

"Come on," Hikari said impatiently, turning around and dragging Rukia towards the yard instead. Rukia didn't complain as Hikari dragged Rukia through the yard, past the side of the house, and into the backyard.

"Now, which tree?" Hikari asked. Rukia looked around.

"Er… _the_ tree?" She suggested, pointing to the only tree that stood in the yard. Hikari nodded and headed towards it. As she nearly reached the tree, Rukia noticed something on the ground. As they headed closer, Rukia realized what it was only just too late.

Hikari stepped on it.

Hikari gasped and Rukia stifled a scream as a net dropped over both of their heads. As they struggled to get out, only succeeding in tangling themselves further, the back door opened and the source of Hikari's obsession appeared. He looked dangerous, scowling down at them, his arms crossed.

Rukia hid her face sheepishly.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my backyard?" He asked coolly. Hikari's face was awed as her hand dug into her pocket and she whipped something out, nothing more than small black blur.

There was a 'click.'

Mission complete.

~ Epilogue ~

"So that was a success, right?" Rukia said cheerfully, elbowing Hikari playfully in the side. Hikari didn't reply.

"What's the matter?" Rukia asked, frowning. Hikari gave her a steely glare.

"Look at me. Just look at me," Hikari said, sounding distraught. Rukia looked her friend up and down, taking in the whitewash and syrup mess. "No, don't look at me," Hikari revised. I'm a disgrace." Hikari hung her head, dragging her feet along slowly.

"Hey, you got the picture, right?" Rukia said soothingly. "That's all that counts."

"You know, I'd sure love to tell myself not to worry about the string of baths I'm going to have to take, and that it was all worth it, and, you know, maybe it would've been…" Hikari paused to take a deep breath and then finished the sentence.

"If I had remembered to put film in the damn camera."

~ The End ~


End file.
